logictortured.com Blog

Criminal incarceration is not slavery

I recently made fun of a guy who complained about his life sentence. Someone instantly responded with a comment as follows:

Yes, slavery is funny!

At first I thought it was spam, because on first glance it was not related to the subject matter of my post and, well, no one reads my blog. So it had to be a spambot, right?

Nope, after investigating it a bit I determined it was not spam, it was written and sent by a real guy with his own blog.

So how did his comment relate to my post? My guess is that his comment was meant to be ironic. I made fun of someone who was sentenced to life in prison. The guy analogized a life sentence to slavery. And then mocked me for making fun of someone subjected to slavery.

Superficially and empirically, slavery and imprisonment are similar. They both involve locking people up against their will. But superficial observations aside, slavery and imprisonment have opposite underpinnings.

Slavery is the physical objectification of ainnocent humans. (Or aguilty, for the half empty crowd.) In other words, slavery turns people into objects. Slaves are not humans, do not have rights of humans, and are used as mere tools. On farms, for example, slaves are used like any other tool or beast of burden. The purpose of the enslavement is not to produce any change in the enslaved or to deter others to change.

Incarceration, on the other hand, is a form of punishment used to discourage criminal activity. It’s a social contract epitomized by the expression, “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.”

People act in various ways. Societies determine that some actions are “wrong” and should be discouraged. Some societies use caning, some use banishment, some use incarceration, and some use death.

So let’s move on. If both enslavement and imprisonment involve the locking up of people, how are they different?

Criminal incarceration assumes humanity, and that’s because in our western based culture, only moral beings can be punished for their actions. People who lack the mental capacity to recognize the moral implications of their actions are generally not punished. If they are adults, they are found guilty by reason of insanity and are placed in mental health treatment facilities. If they are children, they are given rehabilitation.

However, slavery is the opposite of criminal incarceration. While criminal incarceration presupposes a human being to be punished, slavery presupposes the lack of human being to be enslaved. The reason white Europeans could morally justify enslaving non-whites is that non-whites were not considered to be truly human.

Of course some people will point out that completely innocent people are occasionally sent to prison. But that does not mean that criminal incarceration is slavery. That only means that a person was wrongly imprisoned.

Some other people will argue that we send too many people to prison. However, others will argue that we don’t send enough. Those are empirical issues that have nothing to do with the definitional aspects of slavery or criminal incarceration.

And of course some people will argue empirically that prisons don’t work. They’ll cite to studies which show that the threat of locking up people does not stop people from committing crimes. Of course some others will interpret that data to mean that if incarceration is not working, then we need even harsher punishments.

To put my response to these red herring arguments in a different way, merely because you subjectively don’t like prisons, does not mean that prisons are objectively slavery. We’re fortunate that logic does not give way to mere subjective feelings.

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Does the internet cause stupidity?

Another day, another dumb post on Craigslist:

Fender Bass Guitar & Amp (XXXX)

Call XXX XXX XXXX for details or to make an offer. Please call, not email.

Really?! What model of bass? Is it a low end Squire? A high end Jazz? Is it a classic bass from the 60s? Something you just bought new?

How many watts is the amp? Is it a bass amp? What’s the size of the speaker?

How about a price? If I’m looking for a cheap bass and amp, it might be worth it to call. But, no.

In a nutshell… why the fuck would I call you to make an offer when I know absolutely nothing of relevance about what you are selling?!

Well, in answer to my own question, apparently the internet does cause stupidity. Here’s a different post from the next day:

bass amp (XXXXX)

would like a bass amp for my aqustic

You know you’re officially “old” when you first realize that the young aren’t fit to take their turn running the world.

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Biggest dumbass in Craigslist’s history!

Some dumbass posted the following ad on Craigslist:

EVERYTHING’S FREE!!!
Furniture!
Clothes!
Books!
Toys!
We’re giving it away, so come take it away!
Saturday, May 28th, 10am-2pm, No Early Birds, Please!
XXX Evergreen Ave, XXX

The ad was changed. An earlier ad had an 8 am start time.

Guess what happened? People showed up at 8 am and stripped her house nearly clean.

A few days later she posted this ad

Due to miscommunication and confusion over start time, many items were taken that were not meant to be free.
PLEASE return the following items as soon as possible if you have them:

Lawnmower and garden hose (these belong to the landlord)
Comforter set,
Mens clothes from upstairs,
Tools
ANYTHING from upstairs.

Please be honest and return these things

As I said recently, maybe there is a God. And maybe he has a wicked sense of humor.

BTW, I previously wrote about the legalities involved with keeping something someone mistakenly gave you.

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We play both kinds, Country and Western!

Pandora’s Box (CR) is looking for rythem guitarist, contact AJ=XXX, Aaron=XXX, john=XXX, or brad=XXX and tell one of them what your calling about. and it pays well

I’m not going to make fun of these guys because they can’t spell “rhythm.” I can’t spell “rhythm” without a spell check.

I’m not going to make fun of these guys for suggesting that we tell them what we’re calling about when we call. That’s sort of how phone conversations work, but maybe young people don’t know that.

What really bugs me about this is that the don’t tell us what sort of music they play. Are they metal, country, lite jazz? Are they a cover band or a tribute band? Do they only do originals?

Is the (CR) some sort of clue? When I first noticed it I thought it was some sort of attempt to copyright and trademark their name. Does it stand for Country Rock? Creedence Revival? Classic Reggae?

Let’s say I’m the best rhythm guitarist in the area. Am I really going to waste my time calling these guys to find out what they play before I even decide if I want to play?

How hard is it to say,

We’re Pandora’s Box, the world’s greatest Cabaret Rap band on earth, and if you’ve got what it takes, we need you as our rhythm guitarist!

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Punch and Judy, P.C.

This prisoner wrote to a judge, who was his attorney at his criminal trial, the following,

And the issue that you abandoned me at trial when you let me be set before the jury like that without objection, without challenge, not protecting my interests at all.”

He later told the judge to,

…let bygones by bygones.”

A lot of defendants blame their attorneys for their convictions and sentences. But there was something odd about what this defendant wrote. What did he mean by sitting in front of the jury “like that”? What bygones must be bygoned? So I did a little digging to find out what the real story was.

The real story is that during the trial, outside the presence of the jury, the defendant punched his attorney (who is now a judge, but is not the judge who currently oversees his case.)

The judge who presided over the trial made the defendant sit in shackles during the remainder of the trial to keep him from striking his attorney again. Apparently, and quite intelligently, his trial attorney did not object to that.

So let’s go through this. The guy commits a violent crime. During his trial, in front of both the prosecutor and the judge, he commits another violent crime against his attorney. And because of his second crime, he’s forced to proceed through his trial wearing shackles.

Do you hear it? It’s the sound of the world’s tiniest violin not giving a damn.

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A Life Sentence Is But An Illusion

A prisoner wrote the judge asking for sympathy and to be released early from prison. He complained that,

I have served a life sentence of 22 years. I have lost everything I have ever known or loved.

Later he wrote,

I’ve served a life sentence sir. What more debt do I owe in your opinion?

Mmmmm… where to begin…

First, why do prisoners such as yourself seriously think that judges can release you from prison based upon mere letters? Judge have a lot of power, but they still have to act within the law.

Second, obviously the debt you owe is the completion of your sentence.

Which leads us to third, if you are still alive you have not completed your fucking life sentence. Write us back when you’re dead, and the judge will gladly consider releasing you.

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Instant Truckma’s Gonna Get You

I love this heart-warming story out of Illinois. A teenage girl was in the back of a truck egging and paint-balling houses with her friends. When the truck she was in sped off, she fell out of the back, where she was run over and dragged over 100 feet. It’s beautiful stories such as this which give me hope that maybe, just maybe, there actually might be a God up there, watching over us, subtly controlling our lives, with a wicked sense of humor.

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It is legally possible to receive an inheritance from a distant relative you never heard of?

The Consumerist and other sites are talking about a teen who received $800k in inheritance from an aunt. That’s not a big deal, right? People inherit money all the time. The thing that makes this newsworthy is that he’s never heard of this aunt before.

Most people (myself included) think this is a scam. But yet the idea of a windfall from a never before heard of distant relative is quite common in bad TV shows.

Is it possible?

Short answer “yes.”

There are specific rules that govern inheritance when a person dies without a will. If you have a spouse, everything generally goes to him or her (which could really piss off your kids if you remarried without leaving a will).

If you have no spouse, everything goes to your kids.

If you have neither a spouse nor children, everything goes to your parents. But, of course, chances are good that your parents are already dead. But the process only starts with the parents and works its way down. Do your parents have any children (your brother or sister)? Then they get an equal cut. If your brother and/or sister are ded, it’d go to their children. If they died, it’d go to their children.

But what if there’s no one below your parents to inherit the money?

This is where it’s perfectly legal to get an inheritance from a relative you never met. If your parents have no heirs to take your money. The next step is to go up to your grandparents, and then back down again. If that doesn’t work, you go up to your great grandparents, and then back down again. Eventually at least one relative is found and she/he/they get the money. (Of course, how far back the government allows the process to go depends on the laws of your country, state, region, whatever.)

However, merely because something is legally possible, does not mean it has a snowball’s chance in hell of happening to you. Always consult with a lawyer about such matters, as this blog post does not constitute legal advice.

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The Constitution Does Not Give You The Right To Commit Crimes

A woman and her son’s attorney were arguing in the hallway. The son was facing 25 years but he was offered a deal where he’d serve no more than 10. The attorney was trying to talk his client into taking a plea deal but the mom didn’t like it.

The attorney argued that it was his job to get her son the best deal he could. The mom argued that it was his job to get him off. The attorney argued,

How can I get him off? He’s guilty. They have three witnesses who saw him. When the police arrested him the next day he was carrying the same gun. He doesn’t have a defense. What kind of story could I tell the jury to get him off?

The mom screamed back,

It’s your job to come up with a story to get him off.

Criminal defendants in the US have Constitutional rights. These rights put limits on what the police can do, on what evidence can be used, on who has the burden of proof, on who will judge the facts, and most importantly, they give access to a court appointed attorney.

It’s is quite common in TV dramas and movies that defendants routinely get off on technicalities and that criminal defense attorneys are adept at manipulating facts to make even the guiltiest person look innocent. However, in the real world, most guilty people who go to trial are convicted. (And in the vast majority of instances guilty people simply plea.)

However, there still exists a belief among some people that the Constitution is some sort of magic pill that will simply make criminal charges disappear.

The Constitution does not give criminal defendants a right to a defense. It does not give criminal defendants a right to commit crimes and get away with them. Our Constitutional protections are intended to make the process fair and to keep the powers of the state in check. Nothing more.

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